The Hole
I decided to start a new blog today; its been on my mind for a while that I need an outlet for the things that bother my too-busy mind. Since the pandemic started, I find that I've retreated further and further into myself; isolation seems to breed more isolation. Depression, I guess, is what's that called. What bothers me a lot right now is that, at the age of 55, I find myself unmoored. I have few friends, I have no love interest -- my last attempt at love failed miserably, and that was definitely not something I had anticipated at this advanced age. Its not just a bummer, it feels like -- a complete failure. Of character, of judgement. I had committed myself to that relationship, and I was going all in. And then -- crash! boom! bam! Everything fell apart just as the pandemic was getting started. I feel now like I just wasn't equipped to handle what was coming at me. At the same time, my dog died, my father had just passed, my relationship with the rest of my family took ...